I remember a day. The day that I took the decision to move away and give up everything.
Job, girlfriend, friends. Everything.
The following period was a time of Ignorance, Sense of Loss of “my possessions” and eventually hate towards the things I, personally and voluntary, gave up.
The levels of Dissatisfaction and Unhappiness peaked record levels and I soon plunged into the darkness and never-ending abyss of depression.
These negative and conflicting emotions that govern the lives of most of us have long since roamed the lands of earth, created a vicious circle for dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
These 3 poisons, how the Buddhist like to call it, go hand in hand and will do their “best” to bring you down.
The 3 negative emotions I am about to share with you are so common that you are probably being influence by them as you are reading my article. Hell! I am while writing this article.
What happens when one can detach himself from emotions and be the observant? Total bliss happens.
The agents of Dissatisfaction and Unhappiness in our lives form a vicious circle and are composed of:
1. Ignorance of the Truth
Q: What is worse than simply not knowing the truth?
A: Deluding yourself into thinking that what you are doing and how you are seeing things is the correct way, even though deep down inside you know you are just telling yourself stories and fantasies to excuse yourself and keep on doing things the wrong way.
We keep on doing things for totally different reasons than the right ones simply because it is easier to lie to yourself and live in total ignorance.
When someone comes forth and tells you that your actions have a totally different reasoning behind it (i.e. selfishness, ego driven etc) we lash out and give explanations that what we are doing is an honest driven action.
We both know that this is just self-delusion.
2. Attachment
Who or what are you most attached to?
Is it a person? Is it some object?
Is it an attitude or a behaviour pattern?
Are attached to some repetitive or even compulsive habit or way of doing things?
Are you attached to money?
Are you attached to status?
How about ambition?
Often our attachments take over our lives.
It is as if we are possessed by our possessions.
We want success so much that we give up real lives.
We want beautiful things so much that we only see the imperfections in what we have.
We become so attached to others that we try to control or own them.
Hand in hand with attachment comes Pride and Jealousy.
Our attachment to possessions is so drastic that they become a source of pride.
This pride causes us to define ourselves by our attachments.
Who am I? “I am the president of the company”, I am a doctor, I am a Ph.D.
Pride entraps us from the living flow of authenticity and spirit.
Jealousy, like pride, is one of the components of a dualistic world view.
“He has something better than I do. I want that thing.”
Hanging on to pride and jealousy is a direct influence of your ego.
3. Hate
Hate or aversion are similar to disliking something.
“Richard got a job promotion. I really dislike him and his boss for that.”
Hate and aversion forms as a response to self-frustrating attachments.
We never like bad experiences or when we don’t get something that we want.
Like Master Yoda said in Star Wars, “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate.”
The Dissatisfaction and Unhappiness in our lives is thus composed of these 3 negative emotions.
Because we are ignorant of the truth, we think we can be made happy by fulfilling our attachments to a specific person, place, thing or feeling.
Inevitably we are disappointed and then hate, aversion comes into play.
In the following articles, we will dwell upon how to become an Agent of Change and thus break free from this vicious circle of Dissatisfaction and Unhappiness.
Until next time,
Vlad
